Keeping Promises

As promised, here is my update on what is really important in this life of mine.

Yoga. 

This past weekend was intense but incredibly satisfying. The more I learn about yoga the more I learn about myself. Michael Johnson is a yoga instructor here in the Asheville area. He worked with us yesterday afternoon. One of the aspects of yoga that we have learned from multiple people on multiple occasions are Pantajali's 8 Limbs of Yoga. They are a guideline, so to speak, to reaching enlightenment. The first limb are the yamas. They are morals, controls or disciplines that you put upon yourself so as to decrease the possibility of hurting others. There are 5 yamas. Ahimsa (non-violence), satya (truthfulness), asteya (non-stealing), brahmacharya (celibacy, moderation), and aparigraha (non-hoarding). 

These seem like obvious things-- simple actions that we all know and can embrace. However, if we are honest with ourselves, they are quite difficult. Quite literally brahmacharya classically meant to hold back your sexual fluids. Other translations have interpreted this as moderation in all aspects of life. Tantric yogi/yogini's subscribe to the latter. I am finding more and more that I am a tantric yogi. So, yesterday afternoon Michael Johnson is teaching us the yamas. When he gets to this one he says, "It's simple. Don't have sex with people you are not supposed to have sex with. Respect the commitment of relationships- yours and others. Don't do anything with someone else that you would not do with your significant other sitting right in front of you." This sounds simple enough but for many people, as we all know, this is no simple feat. The moment Michael Johnson spoke those very simple words I had an overwhelming feeling. It was the feeling you get when you are driving around in your car completely and utterly lost. You have no idea which road will take you where so you just start turning on any road in hopes that, by some miracle, you will end up somewhere familiar. After what seems like a lifetime of taking wrong and unknown roads, finally, by some miracle, you end up on your road. The road you were looking for and now all the past roads don't even matter because you found something familiar-- a starting point where, from here on, you know your way. That's how I felt. Like I had finally found my road. I knew everything he was saying already. He didn't have to tell me. It wasn't an "Ah-Ha" moment but more of an "Oh-Yes" moment. He wasn't telling me that sex was forbidden until a certain piece of paper was signed by a certain person. He wasn't telling me that I was never allowed to have sex. He wasn't telling me that I could share myself with anyone at any moment and who cares because love is free. He was telling me what I already knew-- he was telling me how I already live my life. What I am trying to say is that everything I already believe; everything I already know to be true and hold dear to myself, is a foundational stepping stone of yoga. What I am saying, is I am home. 

I already knew I loved yoga. Everyone knows I love yoga. I find space, stillness, my breath, etc etc etc... Also, to be completely western, it is a great work out. But the more I do it and the more I learn, the less it becomes about working out. 

Of course a big part of my excitement is due to my group. There are about 25 of us... all women and one man. The people in my group are amazing. Each of them unique, thoughtful, creative and beautiful.  The teachers the same. Stephanie Keach is the self proclaimed, and rightfully so, Momma Bear. She inspires and intimidates me at the same time. While expecting a lot out of us she is understanding and helpful when we fall. There have been several people drop out of this program-- life gets in the way and maybe it wasn't exactly what they were looking for. But for me, this is exactly what I was looking for. This is exactly what my heart has been begging me to do for the past (almost) 24 years. 

A