It's official.
I'm beginning my 200 hour Yoga Alliance instructor certification course. It will take place over 9 weekends through May/June 2013. The daily requirements seem pretty tangible... at least 20 minutes of pranyama/meditation daily, and 30 minutes to two hours of yoga practice daily. I have to attend at least three classes a week, there are several book reports and an eight page paper as well.
I'm very excited.. and also very nervous.
The nerves come from the physical aspect of the program. I just worry that I'm not as advanced as some other people may be in the program. Although I guess that's going to be part of the learning experience-- to stop comparing myself to other people in my world. I say "my world" because I've been really trying to shrink the world down as small as possible. I want to make sure that everyone in my world is there because of mutual appreciation, respect and support. I have been needing to get rid of metaphysical vampires for some time now.
I'm well aware that vampires make for millions of box office dollars and sold out book shelves when they offer jaws paralleling greek gods', faces of angels and glittery skin in the sun. I can hear the shrill prepubescent screams right now. In reality (whatever yours may be) vampires are soul sucking, energy draining succubi. Turns out, I'm really terrible at identifying vampires and, apparently, I'm also very attractive to them. I try to make that into a positive and say that the reason I invite these awful people into my life isn't because I'm weak but because I am giving. It is most probably more because I am naive and really, truly believe that people are good. I'm trying not to lose my optimism so instead of becoming cynical I'm going to actively do my best to learn how to identify vampires. It's difficult because they seem to be such charismatic and interesting people. They are also the type of people who can easily manipulate someone. I'm not easily manipulated per se, but I do trust easily. Often vampires hurt me by manipulating other people in my life. It is a web, really. And I just don't know how to avoid black widow cloths. I'll figure it out somehow.
One of the most interesting aspects of living in North Carolina is the ever-changing weather patterns. There truly are four unmistakable seasons here. It is the end of August. For me, this has always meant hurricanes, muggy weather and mosquitoes. Most of the tourists have gone back to wherever they came from. US-1 is quiet. you can even make a left turn without first turning right. Aside from hurricanes, it truly is a local's paradise this time of year in the Florida Keys. Up here in Asheville, the weather has already started to cool. When I woke up this morning, it was in the 50's. It has slowly crept up to 65 degrees, although I would bet that it won't rise to more than 70. I was taking a walk a few afternoons ago and I noticed that leaves are already beginning to turn bright reds and oranges. Soon, all my summer tank-tops and flip-flops will be packed away in my office closet and I will be pulling out my boots and coats. I guess I've always taken summer for granted. After all, I have spent Christmas Day on the beach in the past. Having a birthday in December never roused any jealousy towards June and July babies. It seems the tides have changed and the weather has turned. I'm actually hoping for a very snowy winter this year. I want to make a snow man and a snow angel or two. It's nice to remember all those tropical Christmas' but I'm glad to have the opportunity to really appreciate the different seasons.
Spring re-birth makes sense to me now.
A
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
Let's try this again...
For some reason my last post was deleted. Inappropriate content?
Possibly.
And possibly more to come.
I always hate these introductory, "about me's." The need to write something extremely profound in order to set the tone for things to come is slightly overwhelming. Although I think I will resist and just start rambling. Maybe somewhere in my ramblings you will find something profound. But probably not.
I'm at this really weird age of 23. Stuck haphazardly between the party-girl 21 and the round-to-thirty 25. Which is interestingly exactly how I feel. Most nights I'm in bed before 11:00 PM. I have to write everything down or else I'll forget. I have two calendars and one agenda planner that have the same things written on each of them. I have an obscene collection of coffee mugs and I care about gas prices and the gross overuse of the word "like." At the same time, I still can't have just one cocktail and hangovers are few and far between (vodka & water, holler!). Oh yeah, there's that... I'm seriously white. I love tube socks.
I moved to Asheville, NC a little more than a year ago. Overall, I am really enjoying myself here. I came here from the Florida Keys to broaden my horizons. That's actually a pretty funny thing to say since in the Keys you can see from horizon to horizon, and in Asheville you can only see from mountain-top to mountain-top. It's interesting how the sky seems to disappear when you aren't floating in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. There is this whole crunchy, yogi, organic side of me that is not embraced in the Keys but celebrated, and almost expected, here in Asheville. At the same time, there is salty, sun burnt, foul-mouthed piracy that isn't embraced in Asheville. It's a good thing I'm only 23 and not 25. I don't have to settle down... yet.
I spend most of my time with my dogs. I have recently adopted a third (and final) dog into my life. Yes, I am one of those assholes who post pictures of their animals obsessively and celebrate their birthdays with little doggy cakes and party hats. Don't worry, confetti is strictly forbidden. While it is fun for a while, the party colored poop all over my yard just gives the whole thing a bad connotation. And I think I'm still (at least) a couple years away from sending out Christmas cards of my dogs dressed up like Mr. & Mrs. Clause and their little helper. Although Ripley would look pretty precious as a little gremlin elf. Oh, things to look forward to-- am I right friends and family?
Right now, the most important aspect of my life is my journey with yoga. I am planning on beginning my instructor training this year. I've always been the type of person who obsesses compulsively. Whatever I'm currently "in to" tends to be my entire world. I get wrapped up in this project/activity/hobby so intensely that I burn myself out after a couple of months and then completely fall off whatever bandwagon I was on. Yoga seems to be the exception to that rule. Don't get me wrong, I am slightly obsessed with the delicious poses. I just never seem to fully fall off the wagon. There are times when I trip and find myself barely holding on while being dragged behind the horse. But then, by some miracle, I realize why I am getting hurt so badly and pull myself right back up. It's a pretty incredible journey.
Eck, I sound like one of those annoying yoga people. The ones who say "Namaste" instead of good bye and quote the Dali Lama as if they were just chatting on the phone. That is not the yogi I am. For me, it's not about the individual pose (although they are delicious). It is about the space that I find inside myself when I transition from one pose to the next. There is a a stillness inside my body and an emptiness inside my head that I find no where else. For those short moments, my thoughts stop screaming at me and the only thing that matters is the echoing of what used to be there. The reverberating sounds of quiet. It's the same feeling as holding your breath past the point of your ability. Or running until your legs feel like they aren't even there anymore. It's like you aren't actually part of your body. Your body moves completely on its own without direction or question, giving your mind a chance to de-fragment.
And that's where I am currently. My life is beautiful and dysfunctional and sometimes overwhelming. I wish I could say I wouldn't change a thing.. but I'm working on that. I think that's my ultimate goal. To wake up in the morning, look around and honestly say, "Everything is just fine."
A
Possibly.
And possibly more to come.
I always hate these introductory, "about me's." The need to write something extremely profound in order to set the tone for things to come is slightly overwhelming. Although I think I will resist and just start rambling. Maybe somewhere in my ramblings you will find something profound. But probably not.
I'm at this really weird age of 23. Stuck haphazardly between the party-girl 21 and the round-to-thirty 25. Which is interestingly exactly how I feel. Most nights I'm in bed before 11:00 PM. I have to write everything down or else I'll forget. I have two calendars and one agenda planner that have the same things written on each of them. I have an obscene collection of coffee mugs and I care about gas prices and the gross overuse of the word "like." At the same time, I still can't have just one cocktail and hangovers are few and far between (vodka & water, holler!). Oh yeah, there's that... I'm seriously white. I love tube socks.
I moved to Asheville, NC a little more than a year ago. Overall, I am really enjoying myself here. I came here from the Florida Keys to broaden my horizons. That's actually a pretty funny thing to say since in the Keys you can see from horizon to horizon, and in Asheville you can only see from mountain-top to mountain-top. It's interesting how the sky seems to disappear when you aren't floating in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. There is this whole crunchy, yogi, organic side of me that is not embraced in the Keys but celebrated, and almost expected, here in Asheville. At the same time, there is salty, sun burnt, foul-mouthed piracy that isn't embraced in Asheville. It's a good thing I'm only 23 and not 25. I don't have to settle down... yet.
I spend most of my time with my dogs. I have recently adopted a third (and final) dog into my life. Yes, I am one of those assholes who post pictures of their animals obsessively and celebrate their birthdays with little doggy cakes and party hats. Don't worry, confetti is strictly forbidden. While it is fun for a while, the party colored poop all over my yard just gives the whole thing a bad connotation. And I think I'm still (at least) a couple years away from sending out Christmas cards of my dogs dressed up like Mr. & Mrs. Clause and their little helper. Although Ripley would look pretty precious as a little gremlin elf. Oh, things to look forward to-- am I right friends and family?
Right now, the most important aspect of my life is my journey with yoga. I am planning on beginning my instructor training this year. I've always been the type of person who obsesses compulsively. Whatever I'm currently "in to" tends to be my entire world. I get wrapped up in this project/activity/hobby so intensely that I burn myself out after a couple of months and then completely fall off whatever bandwagon I was on. Yoga seems to be the exception to that rule. Don't get me wrong, I am slightly obsessed with the delicious poses. I just never seem to fully fall off the wagon. There are times when I trip and find myself barely holding on while being dragged behind the horse. But then, by some miracle, I realize why I am getting hurt so badly and pull myself right back up. It's a pretty incredible journey.
Eck, I sound like one of those annoying yoga people. The ones who say "Namaste" instead of good bye and quote the Dali Lama as if they were just chatting on the phone. That is not the yogi I am. For me, it's not about the individual pose (although they are delicious). It is about the space that I find inside myself when I transition from one pose to the next. There is a a stillness inside my body and an emptiness inside my head that I find no where else. For those short moments, my thoughts stop screaming at me and the only thing that matters is the echoing of what used to be there. The reverberating sounds of quiet. It's the same feeling as holding your breath past the point of your ability. Or running until your legs feel like they aren't even there anymore. It's like you aren't actually part of your body. Your body moves completely on its own without direction or question, giving your mind a chance to de-fragment.
And that's where I am currently. My life is beautiful and dysfunctional and sometimes overwhelming. I wish I could say I wouldn't change a thing.. but I'm working on that. I think that's my ultimate goal. To wake up in the morning, look around and honestly say, "Everything is just fine."
A
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