A plan to not have a plan.

I have made a decision.

I'm following my bliss.

For the rest of my life I want to make all my decisions from a place of love and passion. Clearly, writing a rent check and going to the grocery store isn't out of deep desire to live in a capitalist society; rather, it will be because I love myself enough to provide myself a home and feed myself fresh, healthy foods.

I'm making time for the things I love.
No schedule.
No plan.
No rules.
Just love.
I spend a lot of time daydreaming of the life I want. I have a list and I'll tell you a secret: there are quite a few parts of my life currently that are NOT on that list.

So what does that mean? Should I throw away my spoons and get rid of my car? Maybe. But probably not. What that means to me is I make a point to spend less time focusing on the spoons in my life and more time focusing on the things that bring me home. More time on my mat, writing, drinking tea, cuddling with my dogs, kissing my husband, laughing, skyping with my best-friends, drinking wine, eating chocolate, gardening, mediating, manifesting, swimming, hiking, listening to music, planning exotic vacations, volunteering, going to concerts... and living every day with intention. Fully attending to every part of my life. Feeling and experiencing all of it. Because when I am sitting in front of my computer scrolling through social media sites for hours on end, I'm not paying attention to my dogs cuddling on the couch next to me, or the smell of the candle burning in the window sill being carried by the light, springtime breeze. I have a feeling if I get the whole “life flashes before my eyes” thing before I die (and I hope I do!) I won't want to see myself watching marathons of Keeping up with the Kardashians*.

I know what you're thinking (well, I know what I'm thinking) and you're right. Everyone says that. Everyone says that they want to spend less time doing the things they don't love and more time doing the things they do love. Everyone makes that decision (who/where is this everyone we always talk about anyway..). If it was so easy, people would stop saying it and start doing it.

So I gave myself a break. I've decided that my journey towards the life I want doesn't have to look like everyone else's. On April 1^st I committed to coming to my mat every single day- even if it was just to sit there and look at my feet. That's it.. just coming to my mat without any agenda, judgement, plan or stress. Twenty-seven days later and I have kept my promise to myself. I come to my mat every day. Sometimes I practice for a long time. And sometimes I just sit there. Sometimes I meditate and sometimes I don't. What I've learned over these past 27 days is my mat isn't a magic carpet (though, sometimes it feels like it is.. but that's a discussion for another time). My beautiful sage green mat doesn't make me a better person. My headstand is what it is; good or bad, it is a reflection of my time spent practicing. Training my muscles and my brain to flip upside down and hold myself there. The pose isn't a reflection of the mat itself. What I have learned is what my mat means to me. It is a symbol of what I want my life to be and what type of person I want to be. Coming to my mat every day, reading, reflecting, practicing, meditating, and sometimes just hanging out requires me to take notice of where my life is going and determine if that direction is in line with what I truly want it to be.

And it's not just my mat.

Wearing my shirt with the word LOVE block printed across my chest reminds me that only love is real. So I wear it a lot.

Looking at my ganesha statue reminds me that sometimes the obstacle is also the solution.

Taking a moment every day to drink a cup of tea allows me to slow down.

Growing herbs in my kitchen connects me to Mother Earth.

Because, maybe being surround by “stuff” is OK as long as that “stuff” brings you back to a place of wellbeing. A place of balance, in tune with the higher purpose of your life. Of course I realize I don't need my mat, my shirt, my statue, my herbs. But they remind me, so I will keep them around. These daily reminders are expanding. The ivy on my porch reminds me it's ok to reach for, seemingly, nothing because eventually you will find something. The stack of books I haven't read remind me that it's time to put down my computer and fall into a different dimension.

Sometimes, following my bliss looks like work. I know I need to take time to simplify my life. I need to go through my piles of clothes and get rid of what I don't wear or doesn't fit. I need to go through and donate some of the many books I no longer have need for. There's a lot of “stuff” cluttering my life that doesn't remind me of my passion. So that's my next step. I've been coming to my mat daily, and my mat has been coming with me when I step off of it. I didn't know what my next step was when I took the first step, but I trusted that I would figure it out along the way. And I did. Just now. While sitting on the couch with my dogs, drinking a cup of tea, writing on my laptop listening to the birds, I figured it out.

Sometimes following your bliss is a lot easier than everyone says it is.

*No offense to the Kardashian family--- I'm sure they're great. It was just the first reality show that came to mind.